Green Machine

hese frames demand a standing ovation and maybe a minor parade.

• The Look: Behold! The "Bold-Square-Don't-Care" frames! They're so thick, they could anchor a small boat, but so sleek, they make everything you look at instantly chic. They've got that chunky, retro-futuristic vibe that says, "Yes, I am important, and I am currently pondering something deeply cool."

• The Orange Factor: That lens color? That's not just orange. That's "Golden-Hour-Forever-Sunset-Filter-Glow." These lenses are actively rebelling against dullness. They turn grey days into groovy days and make your morning commute feel like a drive down the Amalfi Coast. You won't just see the world; you'll see a better, brighter, highly-saturated version of it!

• The Style Power: Slip these on and prepare for an immediate boost to your Aura of Awesomeness. They're an instant conversation starter, a certified head-turner, and the accessory equivalent of a mic drop. If you buy these, please be prepared to be constantly mistaken for a mysterious, incredibly wealthy art collector with fantastic taste.